Virginity
Virginity is the state of a person who has
never engaged in sexual intercourse. There are cultural and
religious traditions which place special value and significance on this state,
especially in the case of unmarried females, associated with notions of
personal purity, honor
and worth.
Like chastity,
the concept of virginity has traditionally involved sexual
abstinence before marriage, and then to engage in sexual acts
only with the marriage partner. The concept of virginity usually involves moral or
religious issues and can have consequences in terms of social status and
in interpersonal relationships. Although
virginity has social implications and had significant legal implications in
some societies in the past, it has no legal consequences in most societies
today.
The term virgin originally
only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a
range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern, and ethical
concepts. Heterosexual individuals may or may not
consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal
penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex or mutual masturbation in their definitions
of losing one's virginity.
Etymology
The word virgin comes
via Old French virgine from
the root form
of Latin virgo, genitive virgin-is, meaning
literally "maiden" or "virgin"—a sexually
intact young woman or "sexually inexperienced woman". As in
Latin, the English word is also often used with wider reference, by relaxing
the age, gender or
sexual criteria. Hence, more mature women can be virgins (The Virgin Queen), men can be virgins, and
potential initiates into many fields can be colloquially termed virgins;
for example, a skydiving "virgin". In the latter usage, virgin means
uninitiated.
The Latin word likely arose by analogy
with a suit of lexemes based
on vireo, meaning
"to be green, fresh or flourishing", mostly with botanic reference—in
particular, virgameaning
"strip of wood".
Culture
The concept of virginity has
significance only in a particular social, cultural and moral context. According
to Hanne Blank,
"virginity reflects no known biological imperative and grants no
demonstrable evolutionary advantage."
Definitions of virginity loss
There are varying understandings as to
which types of sexual activities result in loss of virginity. The traditional
view is that virginity is only lost through vaginal penetration by the penis,
consensual or non-consensual, and that acts of oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation or other forms
of non-penetrative sex do not result in loss
of virginity. A person who engages in such acts with no history of having
engaged in vaginal intercourse is often regarded among heterosexuals and
researchers as "technically a virgin”. By contrast, gay or lesbian individuals
often describe such acts as resulting in loss of virginity. Some gay males
regard penile-anal penetration as resulting in loss of virginity, but not oral
sex or non-penetrative sex, and lesbians may regard oral sex or fingering as loss of
virginity. Some lesbians who debate the traditional definition consider
whether or not non-penile forms of vaginal penetration constitute virginity
loss, while other gay men and lesbians assert that the term virginity is
meaningless to them because of the prevalence of the traditional
definition. Whether a person can lose his or her virginity through rape is also subject
to debate, with the belief that virginity can only be lost through consensual
sex being prevalent in some studies.
Researcher and author Laura M.
Carpenter states that despite perceptions of what determines virginity loss
being as varied among gay men and lesbians as they are among heterosexuals, and
in some cases more varied among the former, that the matter has been described
to her as people viewing sexual acts relating to virginity loss as "acts
that correspond to your sexual orientation," which suggests the following:
"So if you're a gay male, you're supposed to have anal sex because that's
what gay men do. And if you're a gay woman, then you're supposed to have oral
sex, because that's what gay women do. And so those become, like markers, for
when virginity is lost."
The concept of "technical virginity"
or sexual abstinence through oral sex is
popular among teenagers. For example, oral sex is common among adolescent
girls who not only fellate their boyfriends to preserve their virginity, but
also to create and maintain intimacy or to avoid pregnancy. In a 1999
study published in JAMA (the Journal of the
American Medical Association), the definition of sex was examined based on
a 1991 random sample of 599 college students from 29 US states; it found that
60% said oral-genital contact (like fellatio, cunnilingus)
did not constitute having sex. Stephanie Sanders of the Kinsey
Institute, co-author of the study, stated, "That's the
'technical virginity' thing that's going on." She and other researchers
titled their findings "Would You Say You 'Had Sex' If ...?" By
contrast, in a study released in 2008 by the Guttmacher Institute, author of the
findings Laura Lindberg stated that there "is a widespread belief that
teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be
sexually active while still claiming that technically, they are virgins",
but that her study drew the conclusion that "research shows that this
supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth".
A 2003 study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality focusing
on definitions of having sex and noting studies concerning university students
from the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia reported that
"[w]hile the vast majority of respondents (more than 97%) in these three
studies included penile-vaginal intercourse in their definition of sex, fewer
(between 70% and 90%) respondents considered penile-anal intercourse to
constitute having sex" and that "oral-genital behaviours were defined
as sex by between 32% and 58% of respondents".A different study by the
Kinsey Institute sampled 484 people, ranging in ages 18–96. "Nearly 95
percent of people in the study agreed that penile-vaginal intercourse meant
'had sex.' But the numbers changed as the questions got more specific." 11
percent of respondents based "had sex" on whether the man had achieved
an orgasm,
concluding that absence of an orgasm does not constitute "having had"
sex. "About 80 percent of respondents said penile-anal intercourse meant
'had sex.' About 70 percent of people believed oral sex was sex."
Virginity
pledges (or abstinence pledges) made by heterosexual teenagers
and young adults may also include the practice of "technical
virginity". In a peer-reviewed study by sociologists Peter Bearman and
Hannah Brueckner, which looked at virginity pledgers five years after their
pledge, they found that the pledgers have similar proportions of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
and at least as high proportions of anal and oral sex as those who have not
made a virginity pledge, and deduced that there was substitution of oral and
anal sex for vaginal sex among the pledgers. However, the data for anal sex
without vaginal sex reported by males did not reflect this directly.
Female
virginity
Cultural value
The first act of sexual intercourse by
a female is commonly considered within many cultures to be an important
personal milestone. Its significance is reflected in expressions such as
"saving oneself", "losing one's virginity," "taking
someone's virginity" and sometimes as "deflowering." The
occasion is at times seen as the end of innocence, integrity, or purity, and
the sexualization of the individual.
Traditionally, there was a cultural
expectation that a female would not engage in premarital
sex and would come to her wedding a virgin and that she would
"give up" her virginity to her new husband in the act of consummation of
the marriage.
In some cultures, it is so important
that an unmarried female be a virgin that such a female will refrain from
inserting any object into her vagina, such as a tampon, menstrual cup or
undergoing some medical examinations, so as not to damage the hymen. Some females who
have been previously sexually active (or their hymen has been otherwise
damaged) may undergo a surgical procedure, called hymenorrhaphy or
hymenoplasty, to repair or replace her hymen, and cause vaginal bleeding on the
next intercourse as proof of virginity (see below). In
some cultures, an unmarried female who is found not to be a virgin, whether by
choice or as a result of a rape, can be subject to shame, ostracism or even an honor killing.
In those cultures, female virginity is closely interwoven with personal or even
family honor, especially those known as shame
societies, in which the loss of virginity before marriage is a
matter of deep shame. In other cultures, for example in many modern-day
Western cultures, sexual abstinence before marriage is not
taken as seriously as it is in those discussed above. In some parts of Africa,
the myth that sex with a virgin can cure HIV/AIDS continues
to prevail, and, as such, many young girls are raped.
Virginity is regarded as a valuable
commodity in some cultures, and the right to have sexual intercourse with a
virgin can be bought. For example, in Japan, geishas would
sell the right of first access in a ritual called mizuage.
There is also a legendary droit du
seigneur ("the lord's right", often conflated
with the Latin phrase "ius primae noctis") which allegedly
entitled the lord of an estate to take the virginity of the estate's virgins on
the night of their marriage, a right which the lord can trade for money. In the
film Pretty Baby(1978) there is an auction
for the virginity of 12-year-old Violet. Modern virginity
auctions, like that of Natalie Dylan,
are discussed in the 2013 documentary How to Lose Your Virginity.
It was the law and custom in some
societies that required a man who seduced or raped a virgin to marry the girl
or pay compensation to her father. In some countries, until the late 20th
century, a woman could sue a man who had taken her virginity but did not marry
her. In some languages, the compensation for these damages are called "wreath money".
Proof of
virginity
Some cultures require proof of a
bride's virginity before her marriage. This has traditionally been tested by
the presence of an intact hymen, which was verified by either a physical examination
(usually by a physician, who provided a certificate
of virginity) or by a "proof of blood," which refers to
vaginal bleeding that results from the tearing of the hymen after the first
sanctioned sexual contact. In some cultures, the nuptial blood-spotted bed
sheet would be displayed as proof of both consummation of marriage and that the
bride had been a virgin.
Coerced medical virginity tests are
practiced in many regions of the world, but are today condemned as a form of
abuse of women. According to the World Health Organization(WHO): "Sexual
violence encompasses a wide range of acts including (...)
violent acts against the sexual integrity of women, including female genital
mutilation and obligatory inspections for virginity".
Researchers stress that the presence or
absence of a hymen is not a reliable indicator of whether or not a female has
been vaginally penetrated. The hymen is a thin film ofmembrane situated
just inside the vulva which
can partially occlude the entrance to the vaginal canal.
It is flexible and can be stretched or torn during first engagement in vaginal
intercourse. However, a hymen may also be broken during physical activity. Many
women possess such thin, fragile hymens, easily stretched and already
perforated at birth, that the hymen can be broken in childhood without the girl
even being aware of it, often through athletic activities. For example, a slip
while riding a bicycle may, on occasion, result in the bicycle's
saddle-horn entering the introitus just far enough to break the hymen. Further,
there is the case of women with damaged hymens undergoing hymenorrhaphy (or
hymenoplasty) to repair or replace their hymens, and cause vaginal bleeding on
the next intercourse as proof of virginity. Others consider the practice
to be virginity fraud or unnecessary. Some call
themselves born-again virgins.
There is a common belief that some
women are born without a hymen, but some doubt has been cast on this by a
recent study. It is likely that almost all women are born with a hymen,
but not necessarily ones that will experience a measurable change during first
experience of vaginal intercourse.
Some medical procedures, such as hymenotomy,
may require a woman's hymen to be opened.
Male virginity
Historically, and in modern times,
female virginity has been regarded as more significant than male virginity. The
perception that sexual prowess is fundamental to masculinity has lowered the
expectation of male virginity without lowering the social status. For
example, in some Islamic cultures,
though premarital sex is forbidden in the Quran with regard to
both men and women, unmarried women who have been sexually active or raped may
be subject to name-calling, shunning, or family shame, while unmarried men who have lost
their virginities are not. Among various countries or cultures, males are
expected or encouraged to want to engage in sexual activity, and to be more
sexually-experienced. Not following these standards often leads to teasing
and other such ridicule from their male peers. A 2003 study by the Guttmacher Instituteshowed that, in most
countries, most men have experienced sexual intercourse by their 20th
birthdays.
There exist negative feelings among
some women about the topic of male virginity. Reflective of the Guttmacher
study, some women perceive men being virgins past their early twenties to be an
undesirable trait and would decline marriage due to the man's sexual
inexperience; in these cases, male virginity is considered to threaten the fantasy
some women have about men knowing how to sexually please them.
Within American culture in particular,
male virginity has been made an object of embarrassment and ridicule in films
such as Summer of '42, American Pie and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, with the male
virgin typically being presented as socially inept.
Sexual morality
Social norms
and legal implications
Human sexual activity, like many other
kinds of activity engaged in by humans, is generally influenced by social rules
that are culturally specific and vary widely. These social rules are referred
to as sexual morality (what can and can not be done by society's rules) and
sexual norms (what is and is not expected). There are a number of groups within
societies promoting their views of sexual morality in a variety of ways,
including through sex education, religious teachings, seeking commitments or
virginity pledges, and other means.
Most countries have laws which set
a minimum marriage age, with the most common age
being 18 years, reduced to 16 in "special circumstances", typically
when the female partner is pregnant, but the actual age at first marriage can be
considerably higher. Laws also prescribe the minimum age at which a person is
permitted to engage in sex, commonly called the age of
consent. Social (and legal) attitudes toward the appropriate age of
consent have drifted upwards in modern times. For example, while ages from 10
to 13 were typically acceptable in Western
countries during the mid-19th century, the end of the 19th
century and the beginning of the 20th century were marked by changing attitudes
resulting in raising the ages of consent to ages generally ranging from 16
to 18. Today, the age of consent varies from 12 years (or onset of
puberty) to 21, but 16 to 18 is the most common range of ages of consent, but
some jurisdictions also have a "close-in-age" exception, allowing two
adolescents (as young as 12 years of age) to have sex with each other provided
their ages are not more than 2 years apart. Some countries outlaw any sex
outside marriage entirely.
Historically, and still in many
countries and jurisdictions today, a female's sexual experience may be a
relevant factor in the prosecution of a perpetrator of rape. Also,
historically, a man who "took" a female's virginity could be forced
to marry her. In addition, children born as a result of premarital sex were
subject to various legal and social disabilities such as being considered illegitimate and
thus barred from inheriting from the putative
father's estate, from bearing the father's surname or
title, and support from the putative father. Many of these legal disabilities
on children born from extramarital relationships have been abolished by law in
most Western countries, though social ostracism may still apply.
Religious views
All major religions have moral codes covering
issues of sexuality, morality, and ethics. Though these moral codes do not
address issues of sexuality directly, they seek to regulate the situations
which can give rise to sexual interest and to influence people's sexual activities and practices. However,
the impact of religious teaching has at times been limited. For example, though
most religions disapprove of premarital
sexual relations, it has always been widely practiced. Nevertheless,
these religious codes have always had a strong influence on peoples' attitudes
to sexual issues.
Buddhism
The most common formulation of Buddhist
ethics for lay followers are
the Five Precepts and the Eightfold Path. These precepts take the
form of voluntary, personal undertakings, not divine mandate or instruction.
The third of the Five Precepts is "To refrain from committing sensual
misconduct". Sensual misconduct is defined in the Pali Canon as
follows:
"Abandoning sensual misconduct, [a
man] abstains from sensual misconduct. He does not get sexually involved with
those who are protected by their mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their
sisters, their relatives, or their Dhamma; those with husbands, those who
entail punishments, or even those crowned with flowers by another man."
Virginity, specifically, is not
mentioned in the Canon. On the other hand, Buddhist monks and nuns of
most traditions are expected to refrain from all sexual activity and theBuddha is
said to have admonished his followers to avoid unchastity "as if it were a
pit of burning cinders."
Hinduism
In Hinduism, premarital virginity on
the part of the bride is considered ideal. The prevailing Hindu marriage
ceremony, or the Vedic wedding, centers around the Kanyadanritual,
which literally means gift of a virgin, by father of the
maiden through which the Hindus believe they gain greatest spiritual merit, and
marriages of the daughters are considered a spiritual obligation.
Sex had never been a taboo in ancient
India and intactness of the hymen had nothing to do with virginity.
Sikhism
In Sikhism, sexual activity occurs only
between married individuals. Sikhism advises against premarital sex, as it has
a high potential of being an indulgence of lust (kaam, or extreme
sexual desire). Virginity is an important aspect of spirituality and it has to
be preserved before marriage, or when one is ready to move into another sacred
state of being with their significant other.
Judaism
Premarital sex is strongly disapproved
of in Judaism, but there is no requirement for a female to be a virgin at her
marriage, and a child born to an unmarried female is not regarded as
illegitimate (mamzer)
or subject to any social or religious disabilities.
Jewish law contains rules related to
protecting female virgins and dealing with consensual and non-consensual
pre-marital sex. Jewish law's guidance on sex is that it should be valued as a
wholesome part of life between two married partners.
There are references in the Torah to virginity.
In the first reference, in Genesis 19:8,
Lot offers his virgin daughters to the people of Sodom for undetermined sexual
purposes in an attempt to protect his guests, with the implication that the
people of Sodom would be more likely to accept the offer in view of the girls'
virginity than they would otherwise. The next reference is at Genesis 24:16,
where Eliezer is
seeking a wife for his master, Abraham's son. He meets Rebecca,
and the narrative tells us, "the damsel was very fair to look upon, a
virgin, neither had any man known her" (in biblical terms, "to
know" is a euphemism for sexual relations). It is noteworthy that Eliezer
was not instructed to find a virgin bride, nor is anything further said about
the prospective bride's virgin status.
Ancient Greece
and Rome
Virginity was often considered a virtue
denoting purity and physical self-restraint and is an important characteristic
in Greek mythology.
In Roman times, the Vestal
Virgins were the highly respected, strictly celibate (although
not necessarily virginal) priestesses of Vesta,
and keepers of the sacred fire of Vesta. The Vestals were
committed to the priesthood before puberty (when 6–10 years old) and sworn
to celibacy for
a period of 30 years. The chastity of the Vestals was considered to have a
direct bearing on the health of the Roman state. Allowing the sacred fire of
Vesta to die out, suggesting that the goddess had withdrawn her protection from
the city, was a serious offence and was punishable by scourging. Because a
Vestal's chastity was thought to be directly correlated to the sacred burning
of the fire, if the fire were extinguished it might be assumed that a Vestal
had been unchaste. The penalty for a Vestal Virgin found to have had sexual
relations while in office was being buried alive.
Christianity
Paul the
Apostle expressed the view that a person's body belongs to God
and is God's temple (1 Corinthians
6:13, 3:16),
and that premarital sex is immoral (1 Corinthians
6:18) on an equal level as adultery. (1 Corinthians
6:9) Paul also expressed the view in1 Corinthians
7:1-7 that sexual abstinence is the preferred state for both
men and women. However, he stated that sexual relations are expected between a
married couple.
According to classicist Evelyn Stagg and
New Testament scholar Frank Stagg, the New Testament holds that
sex is reserved for marriage. They maintain that the New Testament teaches
that sex outside of marriage is a sin of adultery if
either of the participants is married, otherwise the sin of fornication if
neither of the participants are married. An imperative given in
1 Corinthians says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins
people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against
their own bodies."[1 Cor 6:18]Those who are
sexually immoral or adulterers are listed in 1 Corinthians
6:9 in a list of "wrongdoers who ... will not inherit the
kingdom of God." Galatians
5:19 and 1 Corinthians
7:2 also address fornication. The Apostolic Decree of
the Council of Jerusalem also includes a
prohibition on fornication.
Aquinas went
further, emphasizing that acts other than copulation destroy virginity, and
clarifying that involuntary sexual pleasure does not destroy virginity. From
his Summa Theologica, "Pleasure resulting
from resolution of semen may arise in two ways. If this be the result of the
mind's purpose, it destroys virginity, whether copulation takes place
or not. Augustine, however, mentions copulation, because such like
resolution is the ordinary and natural result thereof. On another way this may
happen beside the purpose of the mind, either during sleep, or through violence
and without the mind's consent, although the flesh derives pleasure from it, or
again through weakness of nature, as in the case of those who are subject to a
flow of semen. On such cases virginity is not forfeit, because such like
pollution is not the result of impurity which excludes virginity."
Some have theorized that the New
Testament was not against sex before marriage. The discussion turns on two
Greek words —moicheia (μοιχεία, adultery and porneia (πορνεία, fornication,
see also pornography). The first word is restricted to
contexts involving sexual betrayal of a spouse; however, the second word is
used as a generic term for illegitimate sexual activity. Elsewhere in1 Corinthians,
incest, homosexual intercourse (according to some interpretations) and
prostitution are all explicitly forbidden by name (however, the Septuagint uses
"porneia" to refer to male temple prostitution). Paul is preaching
about activities based on sexual prohibitions in Leviticus,
in the context of achieving holiness. The theory suggests it is these, and only
these behaviors that are intended by Paul's prohibition in chapter seven. The
strongest argument against this theory is that the modern interpretation of the
New Testament, outside Corinthians, speaks against premarital sex;
Christian orthodoxy accepts that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a virgin at
the time Jesus was conceived, based on the accounts in the Gospel of
Matthew and the Gospel of
Luke. The Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Oriental
Orthodox Churches additionally hold to the dogma of the perpetual virginity of Mary. However,
most Protestants reject the dogma, citing sources such as Mark 6:3:
"Isn't this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James,
Joses, Judas, and Simon? And aren't His sisters here with us?". The
Catholic Church holds that in Semitic usage the terms "brother,"
"sister" are applied not only to children of the same parents, but to
nephews, nieces, cousins, half-brothers, and half-sisters. Catholics, Orthodox
Christians and other groups may refer to Mary as the Virgin Mary or the Blessed Virgin Mary.
The Catholic Encyclopedia says:
"There are two elements in virginity: the material element, that is to
say, the absence, in the past and in the present, of all complete and voluntary
delectation, whether from lust or from the lawful use of marriage; and the formal
element, that is the firm resolution to abstain forever from sexual
pleasure" and that "Virginity is irreparably lost by sexual pleasure,
voluntarily and completely experienced." However, for the purposes
of consecrated virgins it is canonically
enough that they have never been married or lived in open violation of chastity.
Islam
Islam considers
extramarital sex to be sinful and forbidden. Though Islamic law prescribes
punishments for Muslim men and women for the act of zinā, in practice it is an
extremely difficult offense to prove, requiring four respectable witnesses to
the actual act of penetration. Though in Western cultures premarital sex and
loss of virginity may be considered shameful to the individual, in some Muslim
societies an act of premarital sex, even if not falling within the legal
standards of proof, may result in personal shame and loss of family honor, leading
some societies to practice female circumcision and honor
killings.
